Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Trying Again..
So I haven't posted anything on here in a while. Life has been busy, but not too bad. It has been three months since our miscarriage. I really, really want to be pregnant again. I miss having a new life growing inside of me. We have decided that this is the month that we will try to conceive again. If we don't get pregnant this month, we will have to wait until September (so I don't have a baby in the middle of a school semester). I really don't want to wait until then to be pregnant though! I am going to go buy Ryan some vitamins and herbs to help his soldiers along!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
2008 in review: a crazy/beautiful/happy/sad adventure
Here are 20 things that I have learned this past year. I have learned a lot more than 20 things, but I didn't want to write a fifty page paper! These are just random mumblings.
1. When you help someone, they actually end up helping you.
2. There is beauty in creating life. Being pregnant was a blessing. I now have one baby in heaven waiting for me. I never thought I could love a living thing that I have never met so much.
3. I can still have hope and laugh, even when life seems so hopeless.
4. Every day is a blessing. I know, cliché, but I have a deeper understanding now.
5. Alcohol is not the devil. I have had some really good conversations in bars.
6. I didn't think that I could grow deeper in love with my husband, but I did.
7. I love the Beatles.
8. Feeling sad is not a bad thing. It lets us know that we are still alive.
9. You are still a Christian even if you vote for a Democrat
10. I am stronger than I thought.
11. I am an activist at heart.
12. I can handle 15 hours in school and still make straight A's. (yeah me!)
13. I like hanging out with hippies, druggies, musicians, and artists. They are much more fun than churchy yuppies.
14. I can sleep in on Sunday mornings and not feel guilty. I like not going to church until 5 pm. It is really nice.
15. I am responsible enough to be a home owner. It is really nice not to live in an apartment anymore.
16. God is a good God. Sure, bad things happen. I know that He did not cause those bad things though. He takes care of us.
17. Angels are all around. They are people that give you a hug when you need it, that bring you food when you don't feel like fixing dinner. They are people that say that one thing that brightens your day. They are the people who listen when you cry.
18. I am learning to accept that my body is changing and that I may not ever be a size 6 again. That is ok.
19. Ryan and I can make it on a smaller income. It was worth it to have sanity and better sleep.
20. Not all homeless people are bums ( I already knew this, but I have a greater understanding now). Some of them are really cool if you get to know them!
1. When you help someone, they actually end up helping you.
2. There is beauty in creating life. Being pregnant was a blessing. I now have one baby in heaven waiting for me. I never thought I could love a living thing that I have never met so much.
3. I can still have hope and laugh, even when life seems so hopeless.
4. Every day is a blessing. I know, cliché, but I have a deeper understanding now.
5. Alcohol is not the devil. I have had some really good conversations in bars.
6. I didn't think that I could grow deeper in love with my husband, but I did.
7. I love the Beatles.
8. Feeling sad is not a bad thing. It lets us know that we are still alive.
9. You are still a Christian even if you vote for a Democrat
10. I am stronger than I thought.
11. I am an activist at heart.
12. I can handle 15 hours in school and still make straight A's. (yeah me!)
13. I like hanging out with hippies, druggies, musicians, and artists. They are much more fun than churchy yuppies.
14. I can sleep in on Sunday mornings and not feel guilty. I like not going to church until 5 pm. It is really nice.
15. I am responsible enough to be a home owner. It is really nice not to live in an apartment anymore.
16. God is a good God. Sure, bad things happen. I know that He did not cause those bad things though. He takes care of us.
17. Angels are all around. They are people that give you a hug when you need it, that bring you food when you don't feel like fixing dinner. They are people that say that one thing that brightens your day. They are the people who listen when you cry.
18. I am learning to accept that my body is changing and that I may not ever be a size 6 again. That is ok.
19. Ryan and I can make it on a smaller income. It was worth it to have sanity and better sleep.
20. Not all homeless people are bums ( I already knew this, but I have a greater understanding now). Some of them are really cool if you get to know them!
Monday, December 8, 2008
A very sad day
Well, for the last five days, I have been having some light bleeding and cramping. This really concerned me so I went to the ER Saturday. They did blood tests and an ultrasound. My hormone levels were normal, but they said that there was a six week old embryo but I am supposed to be nine weeks. I went to the Dr. first thing today. He did an exam and an ultrasound. It was not very promising. The baby had not grown very much since my six week ultrasound. In addition, he could not get even a flicker of a heartbeat. He said he was very sorry but it looks as though I am losing this baby. This really sucks. We were so excited about this baby! The doctor told me that I should expect to bleed out this week, my body will naturally expel the baby. I think that is the hardest part-knowing that I am losing my baby and there is nothing I can do about it. Oh well.We will try again when we are able to. Life just isn't fair. We appreciate your prayers.
Monday, November 17, 2008
My first appointment!
Well, here it is, the first picture of our little peanut! I went for my first prenatal appointment today. I was nervous and excited! I knew that I was pregnant, but it feels good to have that confirmation from the Dr. I went in, peed in a cup(which was easy since I always have to pee), he did an ultrasound, and there was baby! We were barely able to make out a little flicker of a heart beat. It was thrilling to see that tiny life inside of me! Ryan could not be happier! Doc said that everything looked good so far, and he even said that I looked great as well, even though I have already gained some weight. My due date is July 11th, I already had that figured out before I went to the Dr. though (those due date calculators on the internet really work!). I have another appointment in four weeks and I can't wait to see how the baby has grown!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Our first blog post on here....
This was written by Ryan on November 2nd. I thought that it would be a good start to our blogs!
Embracing the Chaotic
Disclaimer: This random stream of consciousness is the product of too much coffee consumed during a late night. Enjoy……..
Lately, I have come to the realization that life is in a constant state of flux. At least my life seems to have been that way as far back as I can remember. I used to resist it. I used to deny it. I now feel less inclined to choose either of those options and simply accept and embrace the reality that life is full of chaos. Chaos is not necessarily a bad thing. It just simply means that events in life are not as predictable as I had previously believed.
Update: I realize that it seems like an eternity since I have last graced the blogosphere with my presence, but this is for good reason. In August, I left the church of my youth and began a new journey with a church that better embodies what Lindsey and I feel called to do as part of the Body of Christ. This means that I am no longer occupationally a minister to youth. I am now a manager at a fledgling pizza restaurant in the heart of downtown Tulsa's party district. This is a way of paying the bills, meeting interesting people I wouldn't otherwise come into contact with, and shattering people's misconceptions of what it means to follow Jesus in our current context. Lindsey and I have also purchased and moved into a new house on the north side of town (the "black" part of town), with the desire to be a blessing to our neighbors and a small embodiment of racial reconciliation.
Picking up where I left off: If you had told me one year ago that Lindsey and I would be where we are, attempting to do what we are doing, I would have thought that you were out of your mind. Now, it feels quite natural to think that where we currently are is the next step in the journey.
Embracing disorder and uncertainty as the metaphor in which we live means that we must dive deeper into the faith of our forefathers, who accepted martyrdom as a possibility at any moment. Embracing chaos means that we accept the reality that life is full of surprises. It means we take each twist and turn in life with a healthy level of responsibility, understanding that we choose how we respond to each circumstance in which we find ourselves. It also means that we must find some type of stability in a community of likeminded people who are also attempting to live in this state of chaos and flux, understanding our calling as priests of God and our duty to distribute grace to one another.
So what now? Now it's time to go to bed so I can be rested for whatever tomorrow or even tonight may hold. Now is also time to turn out the light and get my beautiful wife some water. Did I mention that she's pregnant? Time for more chaos.
Embracing the Chaotic
Disclaimer: This random stream of consciousness is the product of too much coffee consumed during a late night. Enjoy……..
Lately, I have come to the realization that life is in a constant state of flux. At least my life seems to have been that way as far back as I can remember. I used to resist it. I used to deny it. I now feel less inclined to choose either of those options and simply accept and embrace the reality that life is full of chaos. Chaos is not necessarily a bad thing. It just simply means that events in life are not as predictable as I had previously believed.
Update: I realize that it seems like an eternity since I have last graced the blogosphere with my presence, but this is for good reason. In August, I left the church of my youth and began a new journey with a church that better embodies what Lindsey and I feel called to do as part of the Body of Christ. This means that I am no longer occupationally a minister to youth. I am now a manager at a fledgling pizza restaurant in the heart of downtown Tulsa's party district. This is a way of paying the bills, meeting interesting people I wouldn't otherwise come into contact with, and shattering people's misconceptions of what it means to follow Jesus in our current context. Lindsey and I have also purchased and moved into a new house on the north side of town (the "black" part of town), with the desire to be a blessing to our neighbors and a small embodiment of racial reconciliation.
Picking up where I left off: If you had told me one year ago that Lindsey and I would be where we are, attempting to do what we are doing, I would have thought that you were out of your mind. Now, it feels quite natural to think that where we currently are is the next step in the journey.
Embracing disorder and uncertainty as the metaphor in which we live means that we must dive deeper into the faith of our forefathers, who accepted martyrdom as a possibility at any moment. Embracing chaos means that we accept the reality that life is full of surprises. It means we take each twist and turn in life with a healthy level of responsibility, understanding that we choose how we respond to each circumstance in which we find ourselves. It also means that we must find some type of stability in a community of likeminded people who are also attempting to live in this state of chaos and flux, understanding our calling as priests of God and our duty to distribute grace to one another.
So what now? Now it's time to go to bed so I can be rested for whatever tomorrow or even tonight may hold. Now is also time to turn out the light and get my beautiful wife some water. Did I mention that she's pregnant? Time for more chaos.
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